I have bullshitted my way through almost two decades of life
im 500% done with today and about 37% done with tomorrow already
(Source: itsbetterthananal)
I’m a nerd, but not in the useful “you’ll all be working for me one day when I invent jet packs” way. I’m a nerd in the “I have very strong opinions about history and literature and will yell them at you if you give me even the slightest opportunity” way. And that one does not pay well.
Yup.
*wakes up with one sock on* whoa what a crazy night
How to braid your hair:
- Wet hair
- Comb through
- Separate at the part
- Draw a pentagram on the floor
- Perform blood sacrifice
- Offer up your soul to the devil
- Chant ancient Latin conjuration spell
- Summon Satan
- Ask Satan to braid your hair
You know what?
Screw you. I am done braiding people’s hair. Do you know how many braids I have done today?
Thirty-fucking-seven.
And I don’t even get a “Hey Satan how’s it going your cloven hooves look fabulous today” it’s just “Braid it. Go.”
